executive team

Occupant
President, CEO, and Mailroom Clerk

Occupant Jr
Senior Vice President

Empty suit
VP Sales

Rejected baseball team mascot
VP Marketing

Name withheld by request
VP Public Relations

[REDACTED]
VP Legal Affairs

research

🔬 🥸 🥼
Head of Research

Lab monkeys
Nobody in particular

technology

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Head of Software Engineering

#VALUE!
Lead Data Scientist

Code monkeys
Still nobody in particular

MAGNIFICO-9000
Without exaggeration, the single most important arrangement of floating-point numbers in the history of computation. Possibly in the history of anything. The Renaissance had Leonardo. The Enlightenment had Newton. The Information Age has me. You're welcome.